As a people, we are full of opinions. Varying opinions are a necessary and integral part of what makes us human. But what happens when these opinions are given and intrude on our family or loved ones?

We’ve all experienced those moments when someone gives us an unsolicited opinion about our children, or how we should raise our children. These opinions, though often coming from a place of well meaning, are hard to swallow. So, what do we do when faced with such opinions? How can we, as parents, learn to accept opinions and advice at face value…taking useful information while gracefully accepting and forgetting the advice that is not useful to us? I find that if we keep certain things in mind, swallowing such opinions and advice can be much easier.

  • Remember, these people are giving you advice based on a very small snapshot of your life. A Mom at the park asking you if you’ve tried a gluten free diet for your autistic child? Did you consider not vaccinating? If you disciplined more, they would not be so “autistic like.” Of course, you’ve considered all these things…they don’t know that. They have seen you for a few minutes in a specific and secluded snippet of your life. They don’t see the daily ins and outs you do. No one can form an informed opinion based on a small portion of any given day.

  • Remember, advice is meant to be helpful. People who share their opinions and advice are, more often than not, trying to be helpful. As shared in Baz Luhrmann’s “Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen)”: “Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.” Most advice is given with the intent of being helpful. This does not mean, however, you should accept and take to heart every word spoken by strangers. Accepting advice simply means to listen. Sometimes, a simple head nod is all that is needed.

  • Remember, no one knows your children like you do. Opinions are no replacement for what you know and have learned from day-to-day life with your own children. There will be occasions that you receive advice that will eat away at you. Don’t let it. No one can substitute a parent’s love and knowledge. Know and understand that you do not make decisions for your children lightly. At the end of the day, your family’s opinion is the only opinion that matters. Regardless of someone else’s thoughts, you are the one who understands the ins and outs of your home’s daily workings. You understand what your children can and cannot handle, what they need to be the most successful person they can be.

  • Negative moments will pass. Regardless of the well intentions, advice can sometimes hit you hard. In those moments, know that it is temporary. Life is full of decisions and thoughts. Your life and abilities are not defined by single moments, but by the whole of your existence. Do not let one sentence in your book of life define the entire story. You are doing well. No one can tell you differently. Of course, this is just my opinion.