Change is hard. Very few people really like change. Most of us are perfectly content moving on day to day with no major disruptions. Sure, we like an occasional surprise visit…a new dish at supper…maybe even a new outfit from the department store….but, a large change? No way, no how, no sir!

People on the autism spectrum absolutely typically change. Little disruptions in schedules wreak havoc on their busy minds. Major changes (and sometimes little things no one else would notice) can simply start a complete and total shutdown. You can do your best to prevent unexpected changes, but life has a way of scoffing at one’s long term plans.

Since we know that we cannot completely prevent change from occurring, it is important that we keep a bag of tricks handy for preparing our Aspie and autistic loved ones for change.

  1. Communicate! Early and often. If the change is unavoidable explain why. If it’s temporary or optional explain that too and describe why it’s something to look forward to.

  2. Practice, practice, practice. If you know in advance about a major change, practice the new routines that will go along with the change. For example, if you know you are going to be changing schools, visit the new school several times. Introduce yourself and your loved one to the administration, teachers, and aides. Know that there will be glitches, but familiarity with the new surroundings can help ease the transition. The more familiar you become, the more confident you will be guiding your favorite change-resistant person into the new routine.

  3. Pictures and maps. Sometimes I loathe internet search engines…really, I do. However, they have the power to be one of your best friends when preparing autism spectrum people for new experiences. There is hardly a place left on this Earth that cannot be found in cyber- land. Use this fact to your advantage. Find pictures of new place to familiarize everyone with key aspects. Use reviews to get a vague feeling for others experiences. Map routes to and from places, to become familiar with the lay of the land. This tactic works especially well for vacation destinations. Many vacation hot spots offer virtual tours, printable maps, and detailed descriptions of attractions.

  4. Maintain “normalcy.” I realize I am a big proponent of avoiding the word “normal.” Seriously, the world sends shivers down my spine. But, every household has a relative sense of “normal” for that house. While I realize no two days are the same, you know what general milestones and rituals you maintain on a daily basis. Do your best when faced with change to keep rituals in place. This is especially true for routines having to do with sleep, meals, and general comfort of your spectrum loved one.

  5. Expect the unexpected. No change will go unnoticed, nor will any major changes occur without backlash. Know this. Expect this. Prepare yourself and those around you the best you can and then let it go. Keep calming comfort items and rituals on stand-by. Do not worry if someone else scoffs at your eight year old carrying a raggedy rice baby around. You are doing what is best for you and yours…you are not harming anyone. You are doing the best you can.

  6. Be patient. Patience is a virtue that is consistently tested in the lives of those affected by autism. This is especially true during times of change and inconsistency. After you have prepared yourself to the best of your ability, try to limit stress and dive in. The change is happening regardless of whether or not we are prepared. Remember that any backlash is expected and is simply your loved ones way of dealing with the unfamiliar the best they know how. It is not personal, and it is only temporary. Either the new routine becomes the norm, or things will go back to your “normal.”

No change is easy, but with a little preparation, patience and love, any family can face change with confidence.