Yes! Summertime! I can hear the excited cries of students and teachers everywhere…the hard work has paid off and now it is time to revel in the unstructured laziness of a warm summer. Most of us love the thought of lackadaisical days followed by late nights. However, for many young and differently challenged children (and adults!) the thought of a lazy summer is both overwhelming and frightening!

Sure, we all enjoy the occasional day of unplanned excitement, but for Autism Spectrum families, the newness of the routine is a recipe for tantrums, melts downs, and fear of the unknown. The same is true for many typically developing young children. For these people, predictability provides comfort, the unknown provides stress, and control is not a convenience, but at necessity.

So, how can we balance the needs of the structure-necessary while still keeping alive the magic that is summer vacation? With a little planning, patience, and creativity, everyone can look back on summer with fondness and towards the next break without anxiety and fear:

  • Know your child.

If you haven’t taken time yet to figure out your child’s individual triggers and sensory needs, now is the time. Think about melt-downs, excessively stressful situations, and areas of general distress. Also take time to learn what calms your child and certain activities that they enjoy immensely. By taking time to really learn what makes your child “tick,” you can better prepare for the unknown and come up with personalized solutions to calm or offset potential tantrums. Write down what you learn for future reference and give them to other people who will care for your child.

  • Create a picture schedule.

Picture schedules are one of the greatest tools for young children and those with Autism Spectrum Disorders! A visual or picture schedule allows your child to become an active participant in creating, remembering, and (yikes!) changing the schedule if necessary. Picture schedules can be purchased, but are equally easy to make using clip art and pictures of your child. I recommend taking pictures of your child completing daily activities to use in the schedule. For activities you don’t do everyday, try to find pictures of your child participating in the activity, or find appropriate clip art. If you child needs to know specific times, make time cards to Velcro to the bottom of your activity cards. The use of Velcro allows you to change times and activity order if necessary. A large piece of felt is a great back ground to order your day on. When an activity is completed, many children like to physically move the activity card to a box or bag dedicated as the “Completed Tasks” or “Look What I Did!” area. This way, your child can see the schedule, touch the schedule, and be reminded of the schedule. This empowering tool allows your child to practice self-help and take some responsibility for their days activities. A smaller, portable, schedule made with magnets and a small cookie tray allows you to take your schedule everywhere you go. Use the same pictures or clip art on the portable schedule as well, this provides consistency and stability to many children. Your child can help control the schedule even on the go!

  • Make an “Oops Octopus.”

Let’s face it, stuff is going to come up. It is inevitable. When it goes wrong, who do our children immediately blame? That’s right, us. Take some of the heat off of yourself by creating a character that can swoop into your picture schedule. It doesn’t have to be an octopus, an uh-oh man, bad ballerina, whatever works for you will be great! Make several copies of said schedule stopper and keep them on hand for those days when things just don’t go right. By doing this, not only does your child have a visual reminder of the change, but they have someone (without feelings or emotional connections) to blame for the unfortunate change. Darn that sneaky Oops Octopus!

  • Don’t forget about academics.

No, I don’t want you to enroll your child in 5 consecutive summer boot camps in order to keep them in tip top shape! What I do want you to remember is that Summer Commas are real for our students. By dedicating a portion of everyday to some academic activity and remediation you can help your child retain some sense of schoolwork, which will make the transition back into school a little easier. We also know that transition between grades, schools, and new classmates is especially difficult for our ASD kids. By taking a little time to learn about what is expected in the next grade (if your child is mainstreamed), or if there are changes in their service providers, you are helping your child have time to adjust. Most teachers are happy to give examples of work for the summer. You can also ask for any workbooks that the students didn’t complete for simple activities to complete at home.

Academics don’t necessarily mean that you have to be doing paperwork either! Don’t forget that our children are tactile learners who benefit from direct interaction with instruction. What does that mean? Simply take time to talk to your child. Do they like to cook? Helping in the kitchen is a great math lesson. Planting a garden is science. Museums provide great opportunities for learning. Helping with chores teaches life and self help skills….plus, you get help around the house…everyone wins!

  • Choose activities based on your child’s interest.

If your autistic child really dislikes the water, swimming isn’t probably an activity you want to take up 8 hours of each day. As much as we need to complete errands, teach skills, practice social situations, etc., we must remember that summer is a uniquely childhood experience. One day summer vacation is no longer going to be there for your child. Help them enjoy it today! If your child is obsessed with trains, try to find a train station close by to visit. Animals? Visit the zoo or a wildlife preserve. Find activities close to you. A mix of familiar and new opportunities is best.

  • Use this time to stretch the comfort zone.

Do not force your child to go to summer camp for a week if they are not ready. The goal here is to expand our comfort zones, not emotionally damage a child for all of eternity. If there are activities you know your child will have to participate in, but are not pleasant, ease your way into them. With the extra time summer affords your child, participate in uncomfortable activities for small snippets of time. Be sure you provide support while acclimating your child to new experiences. Provide comfort items, encouraging words, and a way to escape if possible. If it is not possible to leave, simply be prepared to support your child.

  • Do not schedule too much in one day!

I know summer seems shorter and shorter (it’s not your imagination, it really does get shorter every year!), and you might not be able to do everything you and your children would like to do. While some children may enjoy the idea of jumping from one exciting activity to another, ASD kids are simply not able to do that. By pushing to the breaking point, you are setting yourself and your child up for an unpleasant time. I recommend one “big” activity a day. Remember big is a relative term specific to you and your family. If a haircut is a completely exhausting activity, then do not schedule a haircut and a trip to the water park in one day! You can read your child better than anyone. If you sense your child needs a day or two of low-key calming activities, give that to them if possible. Everyone will benefit in the long run.

  • Be patient!

I know, I know, patience is a necessity in your day to day activities as well. Especially if your have young children, teenagers, or special needs kids…children in general require an immense amount of patience. However, this is especially true when you are faced with summer and your ASD kid. No matter how hard you try, the rigidity that comes with a school day is not going to be there during the summer….it shouldn’t be. There is a reason we have summer vacation. It is not because teachers decided they would only work 9 months out of the year. We all need brain breaks. We become saturated with information and need to step back before we can process more! Our children are going to need extra patience as we enter the world of the unknown. Think about it from their perspective: Thrown into a schedule that is not the one they spent so long memorizing and adapting to. Not sure about the upcoming school year. And all the summer activities are loud, bright, and full of sensory overstimulation (fireworks….really?!).

  • Keep a bag of tricks.

When you travel, whether it be to the store or to grandma’s, keep a supply of calming things with you. While every child’s sensory calming or stimulating needs are different, you now what helps your child (Remember, you made that list earlier, right?!), keep those items on hand. A good place to start is your child’s comfort item (if they have one, if not a soft heavy blanket works well), just be careful that you keep tabs on the item at all times. A midnight run to WalMart to find a lost lovey is no fun! Headphones (for loud places), favorite music (jacked into the headphones), and a fidget are great tools to keep in your car at all times. Whatever works for your child is the right thing for you to do. Snacks are also helpful to keep on hand. Just in case you find yourself somewhere with your picky eater and no picky-friendly food in sight!

  • Talk to your child and caretakers.

Keep an open dialogue with your child. When changes are occurring, let them know they are coming. If you cannot give a heads up, explain that something has happened that you cannot control and let them know it is okay to be confused and even angry. Practice anger management and calming techniques with your child. Read social stories that are specific to activities you might be participating in. Can’t find a social story? Make it up. Give your child solutions to situations that are likely to occur. When a transition is going to occur, give a 5 minute or 10 minute warning. Visual timers are excellent tools to help your child prepare for transitions. Don’t have a visual timer? An egg timer works well too!

When visiting family, or people you will see on a regular basis, let them know what to expect. Explain that these situations (you have your list) might cause distress and what they can do if you are not around. Make sure they are familiar with comfort items and activities that provide a calming feeling for your child. Make sure they know that sometimes tantrums are unavoidable and are no ones fault….theirs or the child’s!

When in public, you are going to run into people who do not understand your day to day routine and the planning and effort that goes into raising a child with unique needs. Don’t worry. Many people offer advice (however unsolicited) because they genuinely want to help. Others are simply jerks. You can usually tell the difference. Under neither circumstance are you required to give an explanation for your or your child’s behavior. However, sometimes we do feel it is necessary to put our own mind at ease. A simple, “I’m sorry for the interruption or confusion, my child is autistic and we are working to make them comfortable.” That is not to say that you have free reign to allow your child to have a complete meltdown in a public situation that will ruin everyone else’s day. In those situations, it’s best to simply leave. Leaving is a perfectly acceptable solution to a melt-down. When we go into situations that we are unsure of, my son sometimes likes to wear an autism ribbon or bracelet as a silent sign that he may react differently than some.

Regardless of what your summer holds, planning and patience can help make the experience enjoyable for everyone. By using some of these strategies, you are setting yourself and your child up for a great summer!